Three weeks ago, I got a complaint from our team lead together with my other colleagues.

That he’s been receiving feedback from people around the office and that he is noticing it as well. Several issues were raised: Coming to work late and going home early, taking more than 1-hour lunch break, slow progress & less motivated at work, and often attending to personal emails. Well, the only thing that my other colleagues is guilty of is the lunch break issue where we all go together, but they were never late, they have good report every status meeting and I’m sure they don’t spend much time reading personal emails. So the rest of the issues are solely on me.

But the good thing is that he is not angry when he told us, he is just concerned that we are becoming less interested to work and that we might have some concerns that we think need to be addressed of.

The worst scenario crossed my mind. I will get sacked and with the ongoing recession most likely it will be difficult to find a new job, then that means it’ll be hard for me to pay my bills, couldn’t support my family and whew!, trail of negative thoughts creep in.

I need to think about that worst thing to make me do something cause I really need a push.

I now manage to go to work as early as 8:30am so I can leave at 5pm unlike before I come in at 9am where everyone is already there working and the fact that I just live nearby, 15-min walk to the office, made it more unpleasant. Also, we are careful now to only have 1-hour lunch break (that commence from the time we left our desk as we are told).

I will work on the rest of the issues but no time frame. I’m tired and yes I’m not motivated. And reading personal emails is a breather for me, so I still do it often